Thursday, October 30, 2008

It Feels Good to Look Good

We hold the secrets. We listen. We console. We acknowledge and appreciate you when you sit in the chair. Our job is to help make you FEEL good about yourself, as well as look good. And remember our motto: It feels good to look good. God, we love our job. When a client walks out feeling better then when they walked in, we have done our job well. If you've been thinking about cutting your hair into something new-GO AHEAD!! Hmmm, maybe I should cover a little of this grey-GO AHEAD!! Maybe I'll go red for the fall, I've always wanted to...GO AHEAD!! You'll feel better about yourself. Ask your stylist what they really truthfully think would look good. "If you could do anything you wanted to my hair what would you do, and why?" The reason you should go to a good stylist in the first place is for their expertise and knowledge on what works and what doesn't. TELL your stylist about your life style. Be honest. "I have two kids to get off to school, and get to work. I can spend 5 minutes on my hair. With my texture, face shape, and time constraint what will work for me?" TELL your stylist the truth. "I hate blow drying, can you give me a cut that doesn't need any styling?" or "I use a flat iron everyday, hot rollers, and blow dry the wave out. How do I keep my hair healthy looking?" These are the things you should discuss and TELL your stylist. Have a relationship where you trust, collaborate, and aren't afraid to TELL your stylist what you think. "It was to short last time." So, OK, let's grow it out a bit so that your more comfortable with the length, but it's my job to be honest and remind you that your wispy soft short cut, looks dead fabulous with your Valentino suit, and the Narz lipstick we picked out last time, and you got the promotion a week after your last cut. TELL your stylist about your job, your relationships, (he likes it blonder) your schedule, your new water aerobics class in the chlorine pool, your vacation to the beach coming up, (wear a hat) or your upcoming court appearance. (always wear an off white suit, pearls, and your hair in a low chignon bun for the honest understated look whenever you have to testify) The point is TALK to your hairdresser; interact, and develop a rapor. Your hair, your presence, and youir whole look will develop and transform. Remember, it feels good to look good.

Hair on the Air in on RadioyouBoston HD2 on Thursday nights from 7-8, but don't worry if you don't live in Boston, just go to , iTunes or and listen online. If you have a question, topic, or comment that you want the guys to answer, call the 24 hour HOTLINE: 617 418-HAIR (4247), shoot them an email at or better yet, on Thursday nights between 7-8pm CALL IN LIVE: (617) 822-6211 and take your turn in the chair.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Your NOBODY until people are talking about you

Shut-up, your kidding-no way, nuh-uh, That can't be true...That's good dirt, and I won't tell ANYBODY! Pinky swear.

We have our super secret EYE SPY in New York who has been calling in with her weekly reports on who's doing what with whom, who has been seen at the parties, and what the City Gossip is. We have a goldmine on our hands. Our girl on the go-007 moves stealthily through the glitteratti swathed in little black dresses, matching accessories, and fabulous shoes. Who is she? We will NEVER tell. I mean Bamboo under my fingernails and a naked Christopher Meloni waiting for me at home for the rest of my life would never make me divulge who our little goldmine is. Water boarding at Guantanamo would suck however. She actually lives down the block from Chris Melloni, and keeps me up to date about which gym in THE WEST VILLAGE he goes to. Tomorrow night we have "hotline" calls from Gossip Girl, who was at a party with Michael Phelps and Tiger Woods who grabbed a bottle of Jose Quervo Tequila and went off to the VIP room with some other high rollers. Last week we heard about Lindsey Lohan (I am getting SO over her) making out with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson behind the DJ booth. Lohan and English-born DJ and musician Samantha have been virtually inseparable since the start of 2008 and despite leaks that the pair were lovers they kept it secret. Until Now.
Does the Anne Heche syndrome come to mind here? Gay for 10 minutes for the sexy publicity, and then what do you bet...Prince Charming will come along. Who ever heard of Anne Heche before she hooked up with the most famous Lesbian in Hollywood anyway? Heche's relationship with comedian Ellen DeGeneres and the events following their breakup became subjects of widespread media interest. The couple started dating in 1997 shortly after the famous "Puppy Episode" of DeGeneres' sitcom . At one point, the two said they would get a civil union if such became legal in Vermont. They also worked on some film and TV projects together. They broke up in August 2000. Anne got famous, then broke Ellen DeGeneres's heart. How totally cool was it that Porshe de Rossi and Ellen's vegan Wedding made the cover of People Magazine this month (and Anne is SO over) Even Sulu from Star Trek made People magazine. with his gay wedding. Who's next? Jodie Foster? George Clooney? I'll have to get our Gossip girl right on that.

Our Gossip girl went to the concert and after party with the Jonas Brothers this last week. The superstar siblings opened Z100 New York's Zootopia with a heart-pumping, show-stopping set. Nick, Joe and Kevin took turns running from stage left to stage right and back again, creating a scream-filled frenzy at East Rutherford, NJ's Izod Arena that was downright deafening. Sorry girls, the buzz is that the oldest one is a friend of Dorothy-Don't ask/Don't tell.

Tune in tomorrow night to hear our stealthy sleuth sling some sass on Hair on the Air Radio. She's our new regular with Pizza Regina, Valleria, and of course ALFRED and THOMAS

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Hair on the Air Remembers Paul Newman

My favorite all time movie with Paul Newman is Cat on a Hot Tin Roof by Tennessee Williams. Like most Tennessee stories the repressed, latent homosexual theme is in there. I find it extremely courageous of Paul to play the character of "Brick" in 1958. The 50's was not a great time to play gay. Newman, at his most handsome, made men and women swoon with his boozy anger, and drop dead sex appeal.

At the censors' insistence, Tennessee Williams' Pulitzer Prize–winning drama — about an impotent, closeted gay ex-college football star with the ironic name of Brick and his simmering, frustrated wife Maggie ( Liz Taylor in a slip) — was denuted of its homoerotic melancholy and given a hopeful ending. Maybe we can go straight! The movie wasn't cut completely, instead, it was turned into the story of a married couple locked in frustration (hers) and if one reads between the lines his hatred and shame of his sexuality.He spit out his dialogue as if he'd just realized someone had laced his whiskey bottle with pee . "How in hell on earth can you imagine you're gonna have a child with a man who cannot stand you?" Brick asks Maggie, who acknowledges that their marriage has disintegrated into a non sexual formality — "I'm not living with you! We occupy the same cage, that's all" — but she still loves the guy. She has to-we all do; he's Paul Newman. And he will finally satisfy her; she's Liz Taylor. That was the battle that '50s Hollywood waged with its own teetering struggle with gay themes.

I really went nuts with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I was Sundance as a boy. This was WAY before Brokeback Mountain, but I could sense there was a "brotherhood" between those characters, and I didn't have to think to far past the famous scene where Katherine Ross, Butch and Sundance are all in the same bed together. That movie came out in 1969- quite a year: The Charles Mansion murders, Woodstock. and Neil Armstrong taking the first step on the moon. Two years before, Cool Hand Luke was released. Paul plays the rebellious prison rebel who eats 50 hard boiled eggs on a dare. I have loved prison movies and hard boiled eggs ever since.

I was lucky and honnered enough to see Paul Newman up close a few times since I went away to school with his daughter Steffy. She was TO cool, with her chopsticks tucked into her Fry boots all the time. He was a devoted father, and the whole family came together when Scott-his only son died of as drug overdose my senior year at school. Joanne Woodward is out at Canyon Ranch Spa in the Berkshires on many weekends, as it is rumored that she is a silent partner of the successful Spa.I love that they were married for 50 years to each other. They really ducked out of the Hollywood scene and lived in Westport CT. There is no question that they were completely crazy for each other. My favorite quote of Paul Newman's was when he was asked in a Playboy Magazine interview what kept him from straying on his wife Joanne? His answer: "Why go out for hamburger when you can eat steak at home?"

Hair on the Air salutes the life, the look, and the philanthropy of the late great Paul Newman.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Goddess Phenonomenon

Mary Magdeline, Cleopatra, Helen of Troy, Joan of Ark, Queen Elizabeth l, Sacajawea, Eleanor Roosevelt, Marilyn, Jackie, Princess Diana, Madonna, and now...Sarah Palin? Society through the ages has always loved to worship and adore the goddess figure. There are many more; to many to list. We love to put them on pedestals, adore and admire them, and then LOVE to see them come crashing down.

Gay men love a messy, bitchy goddess who can make a triumphant comeback in the face of adversity; especially if she has fabulous hair, fabulous clothes and fabulous shoes. Cher, Judy Garland, and Martha Stewart come to mind right off the bat. Most of the list of women here are all comeback queens. There is something about a women who stands up to the world and says "Don't F*** with me boys, cuz I've been to this rodeo before". You go girl.

I think that after computer run demographics, test audience response meters, and careful but risky planning, the Republican National Committee has come up with what they are hoping to be the classic Goddess figure: A hail Mary pass named Sarah Palin. Build her up, tear her down and like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, maybe she just might emerge triumphant, strong, and with a country full of gay men worshiping at her feet. But, to bad she prays for gays to become straight. The "Pray for Gays"movement does not seem to have a lot of traction. Especially in California. Even Sulu from Star Trek just had a Hollywood gay marriage in People magazine.

California is important for several reasons.First, there is a LOT of electoral votes at stake, and then there is The "Miss California" franchise; a multi million dollar beauty machine owned by GUY-REX. Guy and Rex are two gay guys who started out as pageant coaches in Texas 30 years ago. They bought the "Miss Texas" franchise and then went on to California. These guys basically invented the modern day "Goddess Phenomenon" as we know it today. In the past 20 years Miss California and/or Miss Texas has made the top five in The "Miss USA" pageant. Women from all over the states competing in different pageants and women from countries around the world vie for the coveted "Miss Universe" crown pay A LOT of money for the best coaching available to become a top beauty queen. There are basic rules that you learn on the first day.

Sarah Palin is a top beauty pageant competitor. Runner up in the 1984 "Miss Alaska" pageant is no small feat, and the coaching to get to that level is grueling and cut throat. Alfred and I have coached for the "Miss Massachusetts" pageant and there are some basic rules of thumb that one follows-always and forever. Inside that vice presidential veneer beats the heart of a cold blooded beauty queen capable of ripping the sequins off her opponents dress minutes before Joe Bidden changes into the evening gown competition tomorrow night. Her conservative suit will either be creamy off white- (honest, chaste, and pure) or Coca Cola red. (patriotic, bold, assertive) I wouldn't be surprised if it was a combination: creamy blouse and/or scarf with a bold red suit, and FABULOUS shoes. As her coach I would squeeze her into full body SPANX (the new head to toe Lycra girdle that Oprah lives by) and follow the cardinal rules of the "interview competition":

-Walk out with purpose, poise,and personality.
-Keep you pinkys on your thighs, face the camera (judges) in a 3/4 side pose with a "toe pop" in the ballet classic 4th position. (every little girl age 6 and over knows what that
position is)
-most importantly, get in as many of the 7 beauty pageant mantras as possible:

1) GOD

There are a few other key words, phrases, and techniques that help. "MENTOR" is the new word in the last few years that's getting legs. "SPECIAL NEEDS" and dismantling land mines in really poor African countries-while committing to help cure the HIV epidemic over there while your at it, is good too if you can get that in. A big trick that Sarah has already proved a pro at, is to mention the interviewer/judges name as often as you can during the answer. It's a time filler, and it makes you look really interested and introspective on the question." Charlie/Katie I am COMMITTED..." Choking back tears- with a dramatic pause to take a sip of water to regain your composure is a sure winner. You buy a lot of time to come up with your next insincere answer to the question you have no idea what they're talking about: "In regards to what aspect Charlie...?"

Joan of Ark, Queen Elizabeth , Eleanor Roosevelt, Princess Diana, Madonna, and Sarah Palin share some other attributes as well. I could imagine all of them being able to dress out a deer haunch in the field if necessary, shoot a brace of quail for dinner, land a giant bull Salmon on the St John river, or a Striped Bass off Cape Cod, and then throw back a few scotches around a campfire. Is the perfect goddess able to go from a white water kayak to a strapless evening gown in under ten minutes? If I were the moderator at the debate Thursday night, I would ask that question. Or how about wouldn't it be a blast to shoot deer out of the helicopter on the way to Camp David? Which best girlfriend would you take?

We need to be careful now with the tear down phase. With six weeks to go, We've built her up, and now she's nose diving for the crash. But with just the right timing, she could be released from "Camp Cupcake," forgiven for marring the Greek tycoon, or sainted for being burned at the stake. We need to watch for her rising from the ashes the week before the election. The Brittany Spears Phoenix was much bigger then anyone guessed, and Cher has risen so many times that she has to brush the ash out of her hair.

Sarah however will never EVER get the "pink vote." (Which according to Sue Hyde's book "Come out and Win" was close to 6% of John Kerry's total vote.) By the way, how come no one ever mentions the "pink vote"? We have the lunch pail vote and the hockey mom vote among other obscure demographic groups . I think the Gay vote is pretty significant, and no one seems to mention it. Cher, Barbara Streisand, and Barney Frank certainly all know how important the "pink vote" is. We vote, and we give money.

Watch for all the beauty pageant training techniques on Thursday night. Don't forget both Miss USA's fell down on live Television, like a sack of potatoes two years in a row at the Miss Universe pageant. And yet, they both made the top five. Two years ago she was first runner up. Just remember the sacred words: "If for any reason Miss USA cannot fulfill her duties, the runner up takes over the crown. If John McCain had to relenquish his crown like Vanessa Williams did, at least Sarah will look great, Vaseline her teeth, saran wrap her thighs, and keep that smile sparkling at the middle East negotiating table. And the winner is....