Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Fat Models off the Train Please

Nothing made me happier last week than Heidi Klum being told that she was to FAT to model at New York's prestigious Fasion Week. She is the latest model to fall off the food wagon, and into the pit of flabby normalcy like the rest of us. The poor little thing; Heidi came back with a stoic statement, supported by Seal her rock star husband saying “my concern is to stay fit, but not to thin”. OK, sounds good, healthy, and what people all over the world like to relate to. But, it is her JOB to stay thin, and she makes millions and millions of dollars doing it. Then the cat fur started to fly:

"Heidi Klum was shocked and caught completely off guard by designer Wolfgang Joop's claim that she is too fat. She had a statement released through her publicist, "Wolfgang is obviously trying to revive his sagging career and get press for himself by riding Heidi’s coattails."
Tim Gunn told the New York Daily News, "It’s totally ridiculous! (Heidi) is a sensitive soul, and it’s very troubling to her. If she’s fat, other women should throw themselves off a train. I can wrap my hand around her bicep."

On Heidi’s show project runway, she is brutal to the contestants that walk their creations down the runway. “Auf Wiedersehen” She snaps like a whip, dismissing them with that skinny model attitude. The would be designers slink off the runway, and ussualy burst into tears in the back room. So Heidi- YOUR TO FAT TO MODEL- Auf Wiedersehen!! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall as the dressers strained with the zippers; buttons popping, and seems splitting. I evoke an enormously fat operatic soprano being synched up before going out to play the starving and sickly Carmen. I can just imagine the bitchy German designer Wolfgang Joop tilting his head with an oh well- to bad look, throwing his hands up and saying “get your fat butt outta here- Auf Wiedersehen!

Normally I would feel sorry for any girl who was told she was fat. I was CONSTANTLY told I was fat at the dreaded weekly gym class -that I managed to cut on a regular basis for 12 years. On the play ground little Heidi Klums jump roped in their little white socks, with their skinny legs and whispered about me- the fat boy over there. So, I'm not feeling very sorry for Heidi since she gets paid MILLIONS to stay thin- that's her job! Cut out the snacks girl.

Heidi is in a "growing" group of models getting to chubby for the runway. Karolina Kurkova, the Brazilian model was also slamed by the fasion press after the Sao Paolo fasion week in June. "You can't be a stick forever" she said. Ummm, yeah you can. Tell Nancy Regan she can't be a stick forever. She's given up bread for ninety years to look that good in a red Channel suit.
Top supermodel Gemma Ward from Austrailia was called "roll model" last month after some sneaky shots on the beach were leaked to the press where she lay like a beached whale. Hey- she gets a pass though, her ex boyfriend was Heath Ledger...Let's cut her some slack on that.
The billion dollar beauty buisness promotes unhealthy attitudes about weight and self image- I'm the first to admit it. I try to be aware of that, and I feel a good hairdresser/stylist helps to make the client feel good about themselves, no matter what shape you are. We can all find something beautiful in every soul. We can all find at least one good thing, no matter what the day provides. I love to bring that out in people; optimism. Heidi- snack away...your very beautiful just the way you are, flaws and all. Oh, and by the way, it pains me to mention that you got worst dressed at the Oscars in that hideous Roland Mouret dress and all that gaudy jewelry. But to find the ONE good thing- loved the Christian Louboutin shoes, they made you look thinner.