Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Beautiful new World

I woke up this morning to a historical and unprecedented event: the election of Barack Obama, the first “Black” president of the United States of America. I feel hopeful, optimistic, and full of awe as this first term Illinois senator, like Abraham Lincoln has risen out of the ashes of the GIANT mess of corruption, dishonesty, and stupidity that has been a thorn (spear) in my side for quite a while. Not to mention the TERRIBLE hair cuts, dye jobs, and press conference makeup these guys have had, (magnified now by high definition television.) At least Ronald Regan had a sensational haircut, a flawless color job, great fitting suits, and a good manicure every single day he was president. Now there was a guy who new how to be butch and yet wear tons of makeup….BECAUSE of the White House private beauty salon.

Along came George Bush Sr, and tragically Barbara Bush ripped out the tastefully built in full service salon that Jackie Kennedy had built. Nancy Regan worshiped her hairdresser in Jackie’s original chair. It was a sad day for hairdressers around the globe when the dogs went in and the salon went out. I could tell instantly when it happened as Barbara Bush’s hair looked like a car wreck on I-95, during holiday traffic. We all just slowed down to a crawl and gawked in horror as we drove by.

To make matters worse; insulting the tradition of White House style, The Bush’s installed a…. DOG KENNEL in Jackie’s private beauty salon for that dreadful insipid little mangy cocker spaniel named “Millie” who had disgusting runny eyes with “goobers incrusted in it’s tear ducts. No wonder Barbara’s hair looked like that. Betty Ford (love her)) and Pat Nixon (another mess in a dress) used to hang out in the White House salon, throw back a few cocktails, and OOOH BOY I can just imagine the dishy, boozy chitchat between those girls and their hairdresser. Lady Bird Johnson teased up her hair into that fabulous “Dallas Crash Helmet” She needed the height, since she was just an itty bitty tiny little thing. Thanks to Lady Bird, we had Highway Beautification movement; key word: BEAUTIFICATION.

OK, I’ll admit that Roslyn Carter, and the present Mrs. Bush were never the paragons of style, but they are victims of that “earthy” look of their generation , and I give them both a pass. They are both quiet, not flashy, and stand by their men.

Presidential daughters Linda Bird and Tricia Nixon NEEDED that salon for those glitzy White House weddings. How disappointingly tragic that Jenna Bush had a burgers and beer BBQ for her wedding (what was she thinking?) The Obama’s oldest daughter will be in her 20’s in 8 years, and I smell a White House wedding to beat the band. Can you imagine dancing with Daddy in his white tie and tails, swirling around the White House Ballroom, in a Vera Wang dress with the French President waiting to cut in?

So, Now that Michelle Obama is moving in, and has a lot of work done on her hair Are you kidding me? It takes hours to straighten and blow out that flip to get that retro look. Which by the way is drop dead fabulous. She’s the new “Black Jackie” and I think that the first executive order of the new first lady should be to rip out that flea infested dog kennel and put back the beauty salon for HEAVEN’S SAKE!! I mean it’s a no brainer.

Those teenage girls have extensive braiding and extensions done, anti acne treatments, and Japanese seaweed relaxer. Of course a girl needs to wax in all kinds of places, especially during bathing suit season. There are THREE new ladies moving in and I propose a letter writing campaign to sweep the country to bring back the White House beauty salon!! Bring the damn thing back!! If every hairdresser, gay guy, fashion puss, and anyone of us that works in the 40 billion dollar beauty industry were to write a letter PLEADING to re build the salon- we would have a movement, a mandate, and a national statement that has the underlying message: JOBS are out there for us. This would be great for the economy. The 40 billion dollar beauty industry is a field that can expand and create new heights of green industry skin care, bio degradable make up, and eco-beauty. The time for change is NOW!!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A great read as usual!